Tuesday, October 11, 2011

10. Breathe Again

POV of a character of mine~

There is no such thing as a lasting friendship. I’m not stupid, or overly optimistic, nor am I defeatist. I consider myself rational. Logical. A realist. I know that once I’m finished with other people, I will leave them. And I know that once others are finished with me, they will continue along their own paths. I know that only seldom do two paths stay parallel for long. I’ve tried stopping this universe of mine. Pausing it. Maintaining the status quo across my own muddy gravel. But this is only a temporary fix, a poor one at that, and even then I cannot control the movement of others. When I discovered him –I met him long before I discovered him—I found that it was his movement that appealed to me. His path was on fire, and he blazed across it with confidence I couldn’t even dream to attain. How does one walk when their world is burning? Somehow he manages it. But her… No, she was different. She moved at my pace. Slowly. Carefully. Deliberately. When the world became too fast, we could rest together on this path of ours. I even let myself believe that we could travel it together for months… years to come. Stupid, to let her gentle kindness sweep away my rationality. I cannot control the movement of the world. I can barely keep up.

And it’s stupid, this feeling. Not wanting to let her go. Seeing her everywhere, always walking away.

Knowing that her path was forked, and she chose the one that left me standing there. Not alone. Never alone, with this burn of mine. The path of the red one whose fire singes my feet. And I know, as I sink into this fire, into him, that I will come to accept this. That I will never be able to keep the ones I care about. If I could only learn to let go properly… Or better, if I could learn to never cross paths at all.

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